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How do you pick up the pieces of a life once lived??

When your life stopped?  When you awaken and know that you are not the person you once were?  When the hurt tore your soul and ripped it into pieces and scattered it to the wind?  When the darkness suffocated your life breath and left you tiny and broken?

And you try!  You try so hard, but you live a lie to protect, protect those close to you.  Because those close to you do not know.  Those close to you want you to be the same.  Those close to you want you to be whole again.  But the dreams you once dreamt are no longer.  The world does not look the same.  You look with new eyes, yet eyes tainted by the pain that could have taken your life.

And I tried to go back!

But when the blow came, when the silent cry filled the morning, when I was smashed into a thousand shattered reflections and the girl in the mirror no longer was one.  Each shard, each arrow of pain, scattered and blown.  Each tiny piece a part of me, a tiny image of who I had been en-captured in each and every fragment.

And as the glass disintegrated, as it was smashed apart,  the remnants were torn from their foundation.  The deafening clash that penetrated the silence of my mind, the initial boom of the implosion that was to fill my spirit, my understanding and blind me with the light.

And it hurts, the light it hurts!  The crystal ribbons stab my eyes and millions of diminutive slivers cut through the air, slicing and penetrating deep into my being.  Each splinter stinging and biting its way to my very core.

And the sound?  The sound it hurts….

The melody of thousands of shards of me chinkle, chime and tinkle, ricocheting prisms of scattered rainbow crystals and flashing strikes like a resplendent chandelier caught in a gust of summer breeze.

Then silence, total silence….

And then the dark!

For there is no going back when truth implodes

and the light is gone…..