That night fear broke in. It held me in a vice like grip, threatening me into submission. All night I battled the heavy opponent desperate to overcome the constant delving into my heart, my soul and my mind.
What have you done?
Are you strong enough to deal with the aftermath?
What will happen to you?
Questions that fear asked of me long into the dark safety of night. Questions whose answers, during that dark night, would seem so irrational in the cold light of day. But when you are in total darkness, when you have been broken and left to stumble your way back into the light, those are answers of such pure relevance and truth that the sense it brings pierces your understanding and demolishes your every belief.
And what if you speak of the truth? What will happen to you?
You see, when someone is stronger than you, when someone has the ability to reduce you to a shadow, when someone can knowingly take you apart then leave you shattered and broken, then they hold the power that could completely destroy your very being.
And who would be believed??
My darkness, my vulnerability was my weakness. I had no defense.
I let them win!
And that was the beginning! The beginning of the dark! A broken and shattered soul ripped apart by the truth and left to rot with the hope that it would disappear and ease the guilt felt by a stronger someone.
The dark because of the fear! The fear inside my head, a remnant of our yesterday. A fear buried deep but still smoldering, waiting for the spark that would bring the demons back to life. A fear of an imagined punishment.
And that day, that beginning was my awakening……